bulan

 

this is the place where i lived the longest. but, i guess, that is the kind we expect from everyone. people settling down in their places of birth.

 

in my younger years, i never thought of going somewhere else. but somehow life leads us to many different places. when i set my foot out of this place, i dreaded the thought of coming back. but after years of aimless wandering, here i am again. barging into my brother’s life. uninvited.

 

i don’t know what awaits me here (many things i am presently unsure of). but this is the only place i can think about starting all over again. there could be more reasons why i came back.  closures. or maybe i did not have had enough time bereaving my mother’s loss. or it only proves the saying that there is no place like home.

life’s purpose

 

when i was young, i often hear family friends tell my mother i would be her ticket out of poverty. and during the times when i displayed disobedience and stubbornness, she would castigate me with sarcasm in her words about this neighbors-induced prediction.

 

when she passed away i felt a portion of me had also died out. i started to deal with the question “what is the purpose of living?” were the neighbors wrong in their conjectures? or was it not just meant to be?

 

religion taught me about the life hereafter. coupled with answers to the question “why we are here?”.

 

the coveys’ books are replete of help on finding a life full of meaning. i even made a personal mission statement according to their suggested guides.

 

three different sources. but it seems i am still losing it. all statements changes into mere words. i am losing grasp of what they all stand for.

 

the world now revolves in everything instant. i worked in manila for 3 consecutive years. no other place in the country where it could be described as fast-paced. topography changes every 6 months.

 

and while there i was completely lost in the crowd.

 

i did not make it big. or in other’s words, i failed.

 

now, i am starting again.

 

and my quittance taught me this idea – we don’t search for life’s meaning. we put meaning to our lives.

buhay dcpi

i will start with my exit interview. i was too careful on what to say. because business articles are full of these warnings saying they bounce back. and i do worry of the repercussions. especially telling bad things about people which is often coated as hints for improvement. “i should have a graceful exit”, or so i thought. but had i spilt too much?

during the interview, i had this feeling that my interviewer has the intention of purging me to say anything negative on almost everything – the company, my supervisor, my job and reason for leaving. i wonder if this is the real agenda behind exit interviews.

as always, i was slow to answer. i do feel terrible criticizing especially of people.

she had asked me why i rated culture 5 in a grade ranging from 1 to 10. this is one of which i had a very hard time responding. and sufficed her to accept my silence as an answer.

but what was it really like working in dcpi?

it could be that some of my perceptions here are very personal. or maybe exclusively just my own point of view.

if i am to work first shift, i had to be in the office before 6 in the morning. if i am of the afternoon shift, then i had to be there before 2 in the afternoon. but there were recent changes which they call “compressed work schedule”. it is a 5-day work week comprised of 9 hours and 36 minutes office hours including a 50 minutes break-time daily. the previous schedule was 8 hours for 6 days a week with a 45-minute break.

now, let me tell you about the ambience or the “culture” at work. it’s like living in a cut-throat island. employees are always on the look-out for who’s who. power struggle is a big issue. this fosters a mood for guarding one’s own interest. but it is unclear who the real enemy is? everyone’s smooching and at the same time stabbing one another. dissatisfaction abounds.

but it isn’t the reason why i left the company. it is lack of interest. or it’s just ain’t my cup of tea. honestly, i don’t know who’s running who. i have no idea what’s the real name of my immediate superior up to the big bosses of the company. i just know them by their nicknames. not because of endearment but because nobody cares.

i am the kind who don’t complain a lot. when it comes to some things i apply this kind of thinking – make do or shut up.

the company has great ideas. like the monthly chat. it has the intention of knowing the concerns of the employees as individuals and as teammates. but for unknown reasons, it seems not working at all. i think trust is the big factor. when you don’t trust the one you are talking to, it’s hard to open up.

one of the concerns i raised on my exit interview was the frequent transfer of project assignments. i think it is logical to think that this changes do affect the quality of work an encoder does. each projects has its set of different instructions. a transfer every now and then leads to confusion and errors. if quality is the company’s expertise then this practice has to go. and this is a big challenge when many of the recent projects are of a very short duration.

challenged would be a wonderful word to describe someone’s work. threatened is hard to live by. but the former is what i wish for dcpi.

indeed, i am grateful i was given the opportunity to work in the company. encoding is a different thing. it was a new knowledge for me.

and add to that the friends i made along the way.

ang manggagawang pilipino

this is my sister working.

and this is their house.

i want the president to know what it is like being poor. really!

because she proudly mentioned in her sona that she “spent time every day with the underprivileged and under represented who cannot get a grip on their lives in the daily, all-consuming struggle to make ends meet.” i want to ask her who are these people she is talking about? do i have a different version of underprivileged and under represented?

i’ve seen what it’s like when the president “spends time with the underprivileged and under represented”. first, their would be her advance party. the place has to be set up as something that will be presentable for a very important person – the president. their would be a lot of cleaning. the sweeping of the streets, removal of undesirable sights and it wouldn’t be too much if people are advised to please take a bath.

it doesn’t differ much when i was still in school. when supervisors coming from the district or regional offices desires to visit a certain school. teacher and students alike are in a hysterical frenzy trying to make the school grounds clean and their school rooms tidy and the students neat. “the visitation of the gods” as what one author perfectly wrote about it.

i think, mrs. president, there lies the reason why we seem to disagree on our description of the underprivileged and under represented.

my sister works as a shoe maker. her is an example of what she does.

the crying part is – she is being paid 5 pesos a piece for the finished products. she was able to finish 100 pairs in 2 weeks. do the math.

will she be able to feed her family with that amount? she only has one kid. in 4^th grade. but look at her house, it seems just one strong wind and everything will be blown away.

is it what “strongest economic growth in a generation” means? or “low inflation” perhaps?

i hope the president will not dwell so much on statistics.

because if we have enough food in every table, then why the long lines in nfa warehouses?

everyday i witness these people. they have to get up early to get in the queue ahead of anyone. even children miss school because of it. and to make profit, they sell these rice to passersby who have no time to get in line. or children offer their service to buy the rice for a fee.

this is poverty, mrs. president. these are the real poor.

when she was on tv reciting her lauded accomplishments, these people while watching on their houses were commenting on how they view the situation very differently.

i read her sona again. and indeed i was impress with all the statistics.

in general, i can see that as president she is doing something.

but a lot of many things shed doubts on her honesty. i hope she’ll concentrate on that more.

my “amomongo” clan

i am too careful in writing about my friends. one reason is to protect their privacy. but i just can’t help myself from telling how i am missing these guys.

previous to my resignation, they were my team mates.

the name of our group was coined from a news report on tv about a certain gorilla-looking animal which attacked a village somewhere in visayas. if i am correct, it is the visayan term for that animal.

definitely, it does not appropriately describe us. the opposite, in fact. (yabang)

but much for the intro. here are the guys who composed the amomongo clan.

charisse – she’s my very first seatmate at work. i heard, she requested it to happen that way. with all the different projects which came along our way, we got separated. and reunited before i left the company. she also became my housemate for 8 days. and it was a terrible thing. not that she is a bad companion. but because of many different things. i can’t fully share an account of it here. again, privacy. all that i want to say is that our friendship had gone a long way.

romeo – he is my team mate in my first project, too. just like charisse. we were together in i guess two more projects. and we shared the same fate with the search project dilemma. and this is what grouped us together (adding aileen in the equation). he is the youngest in the group but the only one who is married.

aileen – i came to meet her when i was transferred in search project. though most of my housemates were her mates in previous projects. and they very well know her love story. she’s one of the kindest lady that i know. if luck favor her (which we hope, will), she’ll be going places soon.

weng – she is the latest addition to the group. because she was transferred to mmp building just recently. charisse’s bestfriend. so, we don’t have a choice but to add her up to the group. a fine lady. great to be with.

mga sabit:

rapunzel – she’s romeo wife. ang totoong batas!

jason – aileen’s boyfriend.

these two belong to projects different from ours. but of course, they are an indispensable part of our group.

i want to thank these guys for ever making my last days of stay at work more meaningful and happy.
thank you, guys. and a wonderful journey for all of us.

my new baby

 
this is far from what i want. that’s why i never showed this to friends. but as of present i could wish for nothing else. it serves the purpose of my cravings for this gadget. and i am beginning to love it. or more correctly becoming satisfied of what i can really afford.

  

why do we survive in the slums?

there was a time when thoughts of living in a slum area brings a terrible feeling. not that i or my family is rich. but because most of the time the stereotype idea is that the slum equals the most hardened criminals in the city. the common thought that it’s where they live. the place where you’ll definitely find them.

i live in the slums now. and i realized there are more to it than just being a cradle of law-offenders. i will not deny it. almost all the time, we worry of our safety especially when night time comes and we find ourselves a hundred meters away from the house. during our first night in the area, we heard men (more correctly teenagers) talking about drugs. not talking very subtly but more of squabbling over who had taken more and who hadn’t. loud and unfearful.

another night, a drunk neighbor was going amok. he was pissed over an unidentified enemy who had thrown a bottle which crashed near the place where he was singing noisily at a time when everyone was craving for sleep in preparation for the next day’s work. typical slum area happenings, right?

but why are we here?

i think our only reason is the economy of housing here. we are renting a house which could possibly costs a double if located in a more urbanized area (the amount we are paying now is only a third of our previous rent in makati). anyways, it is still one ride away from work. believe it or not, a bedspace or a boarding house is a booming business here. and that is what i meant when i say there is more to slums than lawlessness.

really, it isn’t that bad. everyone here knows somebody before they considered becoming a part of the community. in our case, a friend owns a house here. though i don’t venture going into their house because they are confusingly located at the center of the village. going there means a maze of narrow and dead-end streets. while our house is situated just a stone’s throw away from the road.

and our view includes the frequent coming and going of passersby. i think, if i’ll gonna stay put  in our window sill watching everyone in a day or two, then i would know the faces of everybody who lives in the area. i would know who talks out loud and who gossips a lot. i would know who seldom go out and the frequent travelers. i would know the students, the workers and the bullies. i would know who belongs to who and the group they belong to. that is how in just a month’s stay here i was able to observe the goings and comings of these people.

there are a lot of children here. and the good news – education is an “in” thing. every morning on weekdays, i hear them noisily clamber into their school services. with mothers shouting many different reminders.

workers in uniform are a frequent sight also. the place is a starting point for “promdis”. it is where their journey of finding success begins. many of them came to try their luck in the metropolis. with low-cost housing, it isn’t really that bad.

but what makes the area a hot spot?

it is when along the way something went awry. the trouble starts with bad companions or belonging to a wayward group. and it happens as people always crave to be accepted. but this can still be described as marginal.

a lot of good people still lives here. people who make ends meet in a decent way. people who dream for a brighter future. people who want to survive in the midst of hardships and struggles against poverty.

that’s why the next time someone tells me he/she dwells in a slum, the first question that comes to mind is – what do you dream about?

what i want my sons and daughters to know…

my sons and daughters,
it will be at your time when you will be judging the results of our watch. only you can answer if we had been mindful of what the future will hold for you.

as of present (mid 2008), an economic crisis is grappling the country as the rest of the world is. fuel prices are in the hike as well as the basic and food commodities. from time to time there will be roll-backs. a result of the world’s oil price going down or politicians trying to look good at people’s eyes? since the 2010 election is getting near.

let me tell you about oil first. the price will continue to go up. that is definite. there is so much demand and very little supply. the solution, i think, is to tap an alternative sources which can supply our demand for energy. better if this sources can be found in the country so that there won’t be a need to import this commodity. bills need to be passed, too. renewable energy bill, please? our inventors and their inventions should be given proper attention. since they respond to the call of the moment – discovering solutions to alleviate the hardships effected by the crisis. next step is a lifestyle change. men are slaves to gadgets. it’s one reason why we consume too much oil. i wonder what it will be like in your days.

here comes politics. i could only describe it of being at its worst. its real bad. no one seems to care so much to make a sacrifice of their self-interest. it’s in the system, i guess. this is how that works. a green guy starts young and full of ideals. then he plunge into the world of politics. and he experiences first-hand how the system works – filthy and corrupt. at first, no bending of sorts to the green guy. but the longer he stays in politics, slowly and persistently the system is creeping into his sinews until his ideals are totally replaced with the reality of greed and ambition. little by little, he becomes what he opposed at the very start. A TRAPO!

my sons and daughters, the system is so entrenched that it will be too hard to uproot.

what solution can i propose? – a single term for elected post with a tenure of 6 years. but he can run again after someone else’s term. of course, this is radical thinking. still, i believe this will do more good than harm. 1st, no one will plunge into politics without a concrete plan. 2nd, elected officials will solely focus either on serving the country or building an empire for him/her self. he/she can either asks “what can i do in 6 years?” or “how much wealth can i amass in 6 years?” man, in our time you can do a lot. unlike before when travel takes most of our time and communication takes a long route.

this way, responsibility falls on the shoulder of the citizenry. they choose who governs them (every 6 years), lesser fraud on elections (because an incumbent cannot run) and politicians will not look at public office as venues for power and greed.

disadvantages i can think of: 1- an election every 6 years is expensive – i rather loose a few cents in securing your future than big-time amounts in dubious government transactions.

2- election fraud – an incumbent will not run so he/she supports someone from his/her party and uses the government machinery to win. as always people’s vigilance is the key. (one fact: no politician at present will see his/her party’s goal bigger than his/her own interest).

3- nepotism – i can only blame the people for allowing this to happen.

4- concentration on election – an elected official has only one term thereby he/she can’t think of the next election as an advantage. he will concentrate more on serving so he can be elected again when the next man’s term ends.

what am i trying to get rid of here? a SEASONED politician – a TRAPO.

our country is going to the dogs because it is being run by TRAPOS!

do i still believe in this country? is there still hope for the philippines?

“the question is just leadership. people are willing to help but they need to be inspired that they know they can make an impact.” (dr. corazon de ungria. 60 minutes. manila bulletin. 27 july 2008.)

my sons and daughters, i’ll stop for now and hope to be able to write again.

kapuso or kapamilya?

sharon (megastar) was right. there are already a lot of things we need to worry about. and we don’t need another senseless battle between these two stations.

but the hard fact is – it affects the whole nation. they deliver the news. they bring daily entertainment. i guess, not a soul in the archipelago (philippines) had not been in contact with either of these two stations. and the fight extends beyond the country’s border (tfc or pinoy tv?). they are a staple in filipino lives as rice is.

stunningly, we are riding along. look at the advertisement industry. every product has to draw a talent from each station. nice if these could put them together. worse fact is – each endorser has to have a version of the commercial to fit in to his or her “own” station. for this reason, it is impossible to tell who the brighter star is. because a kapuso talent might be a nonentity among the kapamilya fans. and vice-versa. so, the final measure of fame is – if both fan bases recognizes the star.

competition is healthy but there is no victory in any war.

i’d like to raise these questions while these two stations are killing each other – for what purpose? quality shows will put any at the top. (hoping pinoy viewers will consider quality). because if viewers take sides they are actually cheating themselves. depriving themselves of good entertainment and quality shows their less-preferred channel do offers.

a concrete example, both stations will not play a song popularized by the rival network’s artists. isn’t that cheating? and the music industry suffers. the movie industry suffers. hurting the artists’ and talents’ career as well.

with these in the premise, their news will never be comprehensive and unedited.

one last point, these two stations are keeping foundations and sponsors many other charity. talking not about the two stations own gain from these causes, we know each are helping a lot of people. can’t they consider these recipients and look beyond rivalry to think how lifting the burden is much easier because their nemesis exists? can they accommodate to help the other network’s beneficiaries?

i’ll root for any of them which can. and be proud to be!

why obama is going to win (or lose)?

i’ve been wanting a lot to write about this guy. i just hope this will not get me into trouble.

i don’t know the man. except for the articles i’ve read about him. anyways, this post does not concern him much. and neither of anyone who’s playing a big role in the political drama which is ripping the whole north america these days.

before i proceed, i want to put these few words from pres. truman as an introduction.

“and don’t think for a minute that the men who were defeated for the presidency were necessarily weaker men or less capable individuals than the men who beat them, and don’t forget that it’s an honor to run for the presidency even if you’re defeated.”

“the people are responsible for the kind of government they get. when the people elect a man to the presidency who doesn’t take care of the job, they’ve got nobody to blame but themselves.”

(where the buck stops. the personal and private writings of harry s. truman. edited by margaret truman. 1989.)

i will sound sexist and racist but i do think it’s the truth. but do remember that it is just my opinion. and also that i ain’t an american.

obama won in his presidential bid for the democrats nomination because hillary was a woman. that is hard to accept but she was right. being a woman has a disadvantage. and this is one of them.

why is obama going to win? or lose? because he is an african-american. in other words, a black.

if i am to vote, i will definitely choose someone whom i can identify myself with.

i might be called mr. simpleton, but in the end, the battle is really about races. and the real question in america’s election right now is – are you a white or a black?