path of happiness 2

this is to make some points clear.

on my first post of the topic, i tried not to repeat the word insignificant. and avoided the synonyms of it and downplayed achieving too.
in my readings i found what i want to emphasize. it’s this - keep things in perspective. it’s being positive but realistic. (phillip c. mcgraw. listen to what you’re saying. reader’s digest. feb 2005.) this is to say that sometimes winning is not really everything. playing the game is. and at the same time giving it your best shot. not to win but to play well.

but before getting into the game, you have to choose wisely. are you really up to it? choosing your battle wisely is one great advice. why grate your teeth on something not worth your time? which does not contribute to your well-being nor advance you to your goal.

choose your battle wisely. and when you are already engaged in the field, give it your best shot. do not let others and even yourself drag you down.

sometimes, we find ourselves caught up in a middle of a war we did not list our lives for. i think, to quit is the best option. here’s a quote i read from andrea hontiveros. “sometimes out of desperation, we insist on thinking & hoping for things to work out & we forget that other option: you can get out. quit. after all, failure is associated w/ quitting and so we strive against it. but one has to realize that sometimes when you quit, it does not mean defeat. there are times when it is really utterly senseless to stay”. (abuse me!? i quit! andrea hontiveros. 2 april 2008. transit weekly magazine.)
she made clear that sometimes to quit is not to give up but to choose a higher road.

these are just my thoughts in how to enjoy life. unsolicited advice. anyways, find the niche that is just yours. what works for me may not produce the same result for you. we are all learners here. in a subject called life.

why leave manila?

if i’m to say a good reason, the best that i can give is “i have no idea”. i guess, i’m just a restless guy who is looking for some excitement in life.
can’t i get it here? for sure, there are many different ways to have that, here!
yah, i definitely agree. only that, i’ve been here for almost 4 years already. i think i’ve seen enough. though, of course, there is more to be explored. i’m craving for a new place (i’ll tell about it next time). new sorroundings. new people to meet. (sounds like an adventure and fun. i wish.)

the plan is - i’m heading back to my native town - bulan. i’ll be there for two weeks or a month (that’s the limit). vacation. sarap! then i’ll be going to the new place i’ve been thinking about (a lot of times!). sounds real easy. but i’m expecting struggles along the way. it’s a part of everything.

what am i going to miss? i think, the first is who. many people who had been very nice to me. my housemates. the associations i made at work. people i met in my other activities. thank you guys! i maybe the best but everyone of you are the greatest!

now the what? i’ll definitely miss my daily routine. the drudgery, the power play, the conflict, the tension-filled environment of and at work. the daily commute. the edsa traffic. the trains. the skyscrapers. wow! my life for the past 4 years.

i’m not leaving because of a problem, or struggle, or pain or any negative emotion. i read somewhere that if this be the case “problem flies with you”.

i’m leaving in pursuit of something.whatever that is - it’s mine to revel, for now.

happy times!

a personal note

i know that writing about my hardships and pain i am indirectly telling bad things about people. it’s what i hate about memoirs and real-life-letter-based tv programs (both maalaala mo kaya? or magpakailanman). the author tends to exaggerate his or her pain putting other characters in a villain status. breaking trust and undermining kin loyalty. unavoidably i’m guilty of that now.

but allow me to clarify my position. i always believe in the saying “if you can’t say anything good; better say nothing at all”. that’s why it’s a shock to me when group activities which targets closeness of members encourages telling undesirable traits of and to one another. i’m not comfortable with that.

how about writing? believe me, it is never my intention to hurt anyone’s reputation. i think, inflicting pain benefits no one. i know what hurting means. i’ve been thru that. i don’t want another vengeful soul because of my actions. though unknowingly i might had offended somebody. which for that i do apologize.

i dream of a world where no one cries because of pain. where no one is afraid or make afraid. i want each of us to treat each other better. i am making you aware of my pain so that you’ll know how to avoid making them. i may not change the world but at least it’s a little less cruel without you and i participating. i also know there are many who has the same disposition as i do. whose lives exemplify the motto of the martyrs “live as if you’ve never been hurt”. and i hope with their influence the world will truly become a much kinder place.

one more thing, my blog seems to exude very forlorn emotions. and i hate that. let us be happy. because that’s what life is all about - happiness!

goodness of strangers

in the bus

 

galing ako ng trabaho no’n (forgot the exact date). 11 in the evening, i guess. 2nd shift ang pasok ko, 2 pm to 10 pm. i was in a bus bound to novaliches. doon kasi ako nakatira dati. dahil wala akong barya, ang ibinayad ko ay malaking “bill”. hiningan ako ng konduktor ng 2 piso. wala akong naibigay. kung kaya’t sinabi niya mamaya na lang ang sukli ko.

out of the goodness of his heart, binigyan ako ng katabi ko ng dalawang piso. sabay sabing, “itong dalawang piso ang ibigay mo. baka ‘di ka na suklian mamaya”. i don’t know the man. complete strangers, ika nga.

and i did what he suggested. worried din kasi ako. minsan kasi modus operandi na ng mga konduktor ang sakit na makakalimutin.

the man get off at the corner of sauyo (malapit sa hsbc). i think, sasakay pa siya ng jeep bound to baesa. i did not get his name. and i was not able to fully thank him.

but thru this blog, i hope, he would know how grateful i was.

in the net

i posted this question after watching “jumper” (the movie). mali pa nga ang word ko dito. i think, “skipping” is the more correct translation.
but this name picked it up and answered it.
thanks man!

Q: What’s the song playing when they are in the bar where Rachel works? They were talking about “escaping formalities” (from iamthebestph in Makati City, Philippines )

A: “Ahead by a Century” by The Tragically Hip. (thanks to bongki , Dubai, UAE-originally from the Philippines )

http://www.soundtrackinfo.com/title/jumper.asp

big sister’s house…

here are the people who’s been with me for a year. i don’t consider them simply as my friends. they’re more of a family. we’ve lived in one roof for a year. forged friendship. created memories together. we might not be as close as we would like to think but living together had revealed to us each other’s personality. parts of which we may not like and the other parts we definitely love.

we are going separate ways soon.

and what we all did together will start to immortalize as memories.

but one thing is for sure, i’ll be missing them.

inay

kt

tn

mary

r.e.m.

jl

h.r.v.

m.a.e

inay, me, m.a.e and kt

guys (and gals too),

what can i say? ganito lang pala kabilis ang isang taon. noong una, i was apprehensive if i’ll ever fit in. but you made it easy for me.
maraming nangyari sa buhay-buhay natin habang magkakasama tayo (i kept a daily account). i started living in the house on the last week of june 07. dumating si gn, weeks later. then pumasok si jl. bale 9 na tayo. when in fact, house rules requires 6 persons only. but mas masaya pag marami. si inay, tn, kt, mary, gn, t.y., r.e.m., jl at ako. nag-voluntary exit si ty. bawas ng isa. umalis din si gn. 7 na lang. pumasok si m.a.r. at si m.a.e.
after a while, umalis din si m.a.r. pumalit si h.r.v..
daming eviction. at ngayon parating na ang big night.
we may go to different places but i’ll always remember that for a year we lived together - sa bahay ni ate.

winter solstice of 2012

i don’t know if you ever heard of it. if not, then here it is.

it’s one of those “end of the world” hype. remember y2k? when the world was in commotion? because the millennium era was to begin? and computers were said to shut down because it will not recognize the date y2k? it’s in that genre. the exact date is 21 december 2012.

what is with this date that it became this prominent? or singled out in such exactness?
the origin of this craze can be traced from the enigmatic cilivization of the mayan. like other civilizations,the mayan uses a calendar to reckon time. and it is where the winter solstice of 2012 came into being.

according to archaeologists, the mayan started counting dates at 3113 b.c.. their manner of recording date is like this - 0-0-0-0-0 which corresponds to baktuns-katuns-tuns-uinals-kin respectively. to understand it better here is their measurement.

1 kin = 1 day
1 uinal = 20 kin = 20 days
1 tun = 18 uinals = 360 days
1 katun = 20 tuns = 7,200 days
1 baktun = 20 katuns = 144,000 days

let me show a concrete example. if we are to write the date, 1 jan 1 ad. it will be 0-0-0-0-1. but remember that this is not the exact match. since day 1 for us (gregorian calendar) started with 1 a.d. while with the mayans it was at 3113 b.c. (*we still count the years backward by replacing anno domini or a.d. with before christ or b.c.. it’s not possible in the mayan calendar.)

according to scholars if we are to find the exact match of the end in the mayan reckoning of time it will fall on 21 december 2012. that means this date will be written as 13-0-0-0-0.
why stop at 13? is there not a higher unit of measurement than baktun? the answer is yes, there is. it is called a pictun. which consists of 20 baktuns. but a widely-accepted school of thought holds that in the maya long count system 13-0-0-0-0 marks the beginning of a new cycle, and so is equivalent to 0-0-0-0-0.

thus, if there is a beginning then something must have an end.

now, this is not comprehensive. i just give the facts the way i understand it.

the oil price hike!

carmen n. pedrosa - from a distance. kiss your lifestyle goodbye.

this is what i understood from what she have written. the price of oil is going up because of the high demand for it. and there is a decline of production since 1979. the law of supply-and-demand. because we are all oil suckers, the oil price will unavoidably continue to increase. and that leads us to the only solution - a lifestyle change.

she mentioned the name of colin campbell and his projections. campbell answered the following questions.
1. question: what will happen when oil reaches the downslope of production?
answer: “simply stated: war, starvation, economic recession, possibly even the extinction of homo sapiens.”
extinction might be somewhat too far-fetched at the moment. but we are experiencing now the lesser effect of this crisis. let me now quote pedrosa. she wrote “with yesterday’s (7 june 2008.) headlines in US newspapers about ‘a staggering rise in the price of oil up a record $10.75 a barrel to more than $138′, ‘thousands of jobs lost’ and a ‘feverish sell-off on wall street’, it may be that the predicted moment of gloom has been reached. it is not the figures that can be frightening but the picture it evokes of millions of americans struggling to pay bills, losing jobs, food and fuel costs rising and more and more houses being foreclosed.”
2. question: why should we kiss the end of our lifestyle?
answer: “because oil profoundly affects all modern life, we need to understand several critical factors about oil and oil production. all of these factors affect how much you or your industry pays for oil, how much is available, and what this life-essential commodity can do. almost every current human endeavor from transportation, to manufacturing, to plastics, and especially food production is inextricably intertwined with oil and natural gas supplies. commercial food production is oil powered. all pesticides are petroleum based, and all commercial fertilizers are ammonia based. ammonia is produced from natural gas. in 100 years mankind has used half of all the oil on the planet, oil that took billions of years to produce and is the result of climactic conditions that have existed at only one time in the earth’s 4.5 billion-year history. oil is a non-renewable resource.”
pedrosa adds “the simple solution is to use less. we are extremely wasteful energy users”.

i’m thinking now how can i be a part of the solution. less screen time (television and computer), walk more often. cook my own food. use electronic gadgets less. be more energy-saving conscious.

‘ hope, after reading this, it will have the same effect on you.

my blog’s goal

the other day i had this idea in mind - my blog must be an inspiration for 3 things. FAITH, HOPE & CHARITY, that is. (and so the quotes on the sidebar of this blog).
and with the post here is a start.

i’ve read about him a few years back in one of the talks of my spiritual leaders. and i came across his name again only a few days ago. he’s been in the country (philippines) and columnist wilson lee flores wrote an article about him. i’ve taken this  onslaught of information from him.

the name is erik weihenmayer. he is the 1st and the only blind man who get to climb the ferocious mount everest (take note the seven summits).

his inspiration:
1. mark wellman, a paraplegic who climbed the 3,000-foot face of el capitan using only his arms.
2. terry fox, who lost one leg due to cancer and used a prosthetic leg, ran across canada in 1980 to raise funds for cancer research.
3. oscar pistorius, born with legs that were useless and was only 11 months old when both legs were amputated. he has artificial limbs, yet he’s one of the world’s fastest runners.

eric was “born in 1968 with a rare eye disease called retinoschisis. weihenmayer became totally blind by the age of 13.”

here is his own account “i became blind before ninth grade. the 1st time i went to school, i felt very helpless. i had this fear that i’d someday end up a beggar, have a life with no adventure, that i might never be part of exciting things or part of a team. i had a lot of fears and felt confused for a long time… i later decided to stop asking why life is unfair. I REALIZED THAT IN FRONT OF ME WERE TWO CLEAR CHOICES: SIT AND STAY INSIDE A DARK ROOM or FACE THE FUTURE AHEAD - NOT THROUGH ROSE-COLORED GLASSES, NOT TO BLIND REALITIES, BUT TO PUSH THE PARAMETERS OF BLINDNESS. I DECIDED TO CLIMB MY WAY OUT.”

i’d like to make a few comment but i think mr. flores worded it best. here is his thought. “it is amazing that a blind person has managed to achieve things most of us sighted people haven’t even imagined doing.
if a disabled person like him can do so much with less, be optimistic and dream big, why shouldn’t we also?”

 

(wilson lee flores. world’s first blind person to climb mt. everest is blind to failure. philstar. 8 june 2008.)

 

 

 

 

abandoned?!?

receiving 15 text messages of identical quotes from my “sister” (8 june) prompted me to write this post.

when it comes to communication, “my family” sucks. we have a hard time expressing our feelings. i guess, it’s one reason why i try to hone my skills in writing. my way of expressing myself. i’m thinking she wants to tell me something, i wonder why she will not tell me straight away. i made no reply. i really have nothing to say.

honestly speaking, we don’t get in touch regularly, now. that was after i felt abandoned.

i owe a lot from her. she’s the one i mentioned who started sending money when i was in college. a lot of things was going on in her life before. or so i thought. i idolized her when i was a kid. mom praised her whenever we visit a relative. mother was just very proud. but my sister did not know it.

i know she had sacrificed a lot. especially before, when mother was still alive. i was aware of what she was going through. the demand mom was putting her thru. while in cebu, i chanced to read a letter sent to her of mother. full of accusations that were devastating. the kind of words that makes you want to forget that you have a life of your own. (i had received the same kind of letter after i quit school). i don’t know how she took it all in. i also have no idea how their growing up affected their feelings toward mom (she’s one of the sisters whom mother had let into “adoption”). but i think it all adds up to how she behaves now.

when i came to manila, i expected differently from what i had experienced. she made me stay in her friend-sister’s house. i felt lost somewhat. i don’t know these people. more or less a month after, she summoned me back to bicol. mother had turned gravely ill after i left.

the 2nd time i came back to manila, i shuttled my stay from marikina (another sister lives there) and cavite (my sister-friend-sister’s house). i was sorrounded with strangers. no wonder i felt so alone. mother had just died. and with our awful skill to speak out, everyone seemed unreachable.

for 5 long months i was a bum. she fed me. and for that i’m truly grateful.

finally, in the 1st day of jan 2005, i landed a job. and 3 months after, i came to find another which pays a little better. but i continued to stay with them. i’d like to think that i tried to be of help since the day i started making money. especially when it were tough times for them.

many things had happened during my stay with them. and the worst of it all was when they accused me of molesting a 2-year old kid. i can’t fully comprehend how could they think of me that way. it was a shock to me when my sister called pleading for me to admit the deed and at the same time threatening that nbi agents will just pick me up. she didn’t even ask me if it was true.
but this never happened. nevertheless it left an impression on me.
and had lead me to ask myself time and again these questions - if my “sister” can turn her back on me that way, what more can strangers do? if family was that important why was i treated this way?

i still make a good cry whenever i remember. truly, life is a battle. and oftentimes, i find myself the only soldier standing my own ground.

my star city experience

let us start with the dino. hard to believe they had walked this earth a long time ago.

little mermaid…

snow white…

and the seven dwarfs.

if the dark scares you…

a view from the top

surf dance. this is the best ride. if you are seeking a natural high… try this one!!!… wwwoooooohhhhhhh!!!! i had real fun!!!

galactic ride. i wasn’t able to try this one.

my best shot… (a boring ride. but i think if you are afraid of heights. it’s the best start.)

again, if darkness is your side of fun.

i thought this will be awesome. but it’s more fun to watch. when we came to this point i felt like my neck will snap.

every child’s friends…

time to go home… i had big fun!!!!

once in a while… feed the child that is in you.